Happy Friday, friends! My honeymoon is coming to a close, but I wanted to still chat a few things wedding planning in case this will help anyone else out. Some of these may seem obvious, but it’s much harder in the thick of things. Let me know what you would add!
1. Caring too much what people think
This is a biggie in all parts of life for me, but especially during the wedding. I was worried Ben’s parents were judging me because I liked “pretty things” and they’re just not a big wedding-loving family. I was worried people would think our wedding was too “simple” when we decided to have it in Ben’s parents’ back yard. I was worried that I was asking too much when I wanted two signature drinks or things set-up a certain way. I was worried that people would get “mad” if I told them they couldn’t bring their husbands or the random kid down the street was not allowed to just show up. I was afraid to ask my bridesmaids to help (thankfully they all know me and stepped in anyway.)
Honestly, the amount of time I spent worrying about what other people thought killed me once we had to switch the wedding to the suburbs. I cared *less* in the beginning of planning because Ben and I were planning to pay for everything / set everything up ourselves. When that went down the drain and other people were stepping in to help and I started to care too much.
2. Not saving for years prior to the wedding
Now, this is just all wrapped into “I wish I was better with my finances in general before we got married” but that’s not the way life went for us. So, for you if you haven’t gotten married yet, start saving. Start paying off debt. You never know what life’s going to thrown your way (like a life-altering illness that steals all your money and time and life) and having a cushion, not even just for a wedding, would take off so much of the pressure. If you haven’t started planning for a wedding yet, just know that things are WAY more expensive than you’re anticipating and little things add up, even if you’re doing a “simple” wedding like us. Start putting wedding aside as soon as you start talking about marriage or just put a lot of time/effort toward the debt you might have so you don’t have to worry about it when all your money starts going to wedding things!
3. Assuming everyone else had the same thoughts about the wedding that I did
This was a difficult one with Ben and his family. Here’s the thing – I’m a girly girl. I hate using that phrase, but it’s the best I can do. I want pretty things, candles, romance, a beautiful dress and awesome venue. I want amazing photos and ALL THE THINGS. Guess what? Not all of that is feasible and, in fact, a lot of people (like your fiance …) might look at you like you have three heads when you tell him what you want that day.
For me, I learned how to be a bit more assertive and tell people what I wanted. If it wasn’t feasible, cool… but if it was, now they know. People can’t read your mind and this is not the time to be passive aggressive or just plain passive. Talk to the people in your wedding, parents, friends, etc. and let them know what you’re thinking. Don’t assume people know or assume that everyone thinks about weddings the way you do (Newsflash – I found out that they don’t.)
So those are my three quick tips that may help you in the wedding planning department. Had I been ready for these things, maybe I could’ve stressed just a litttttttle bit less!