Get ready for a ramble on today’s “Thinking Out Loud”. Linking up with Amanda. 🙂
Let’s talk about dating … or the lack-thereof in my case. I was catching up on Twitter this morning and read two slightly contradictory articles/blogs regarding dating. One was very hopeful and romantic, the other was very much like “Nah, I’m done with this dating stuff.” Lately I’ve been falling into the second category.
So the first article I read was this one by Elite Daily, titled: “11 Reasons Why I’m Not Afraid of Being Single, I’m Afraid of Dating” and I was like YES. #mylife
I’m the first one to admit that I want to be in a relationship. I’ve always wanted that. I was a serial dater in high school (if you can even consider that dating) and basically had some sort of boyfriend from like 6th grade on (though my first BF was in 4th grade … we were obviously meant to be). I had a pretty nasty relationship right out of high school that trickled into my sophomore year of college before I finally cut that baggage lose. I was single for about six months (LONG time for me) before I met my longest relationship my junior year of college. He’s basically the guy I moved to Milwaukee for – we dated for four years. We broke up about 2.5 years ago now, and I’ve had lots of dates in between (hello creeper snacks) and a few guys that stuck around for a month or two. While I like to pretend that I just can’t seem to find a guy, I think a lot of it has to do with me being absolutely terrified of dating or putting myself out there. I wear all of my emotions and heart on my sleeve, so I’m pretty careful about who gets to see that part of me.
A lot of the things mentioned in the Elite Daily article are things I worry about constantly when it comes to dating. Things like “I’m not afraid of being cold; I’m afraid of being vulnerable.” or “I’m not afraid of not getting a text; I’m afraid of staring at my phone, waiting for one.” or “I’m not afraid of being alone; I’m afraid of being with someone who makes me feel alone.” Those are all things the resonate with me and that have happened to me … and make me want to take that happy little smile off my face and just pretend boys don’t exist.
Funny thing, though. Right after I finished reading that, I found this blog post by Just a Trace about never losing hope. I mean, really. Let’s talk about something on the complete opposite side of things. Cat talks about how she just got out of a relationship and how much pain she’s feeling, yet she’s still able to feel hope that she’ll find someone – the right someone. While I’m unlike her in the fact that I’m not surrounded by healthy, long-lasting love and I haven’t really seen great examples close up of wonderful relationships, it’s still something that I want. And I loved reading this blog post because it made me realize that while I’m still afraid of everything mentioned in the other article, I still want to have my “head up and heart open” as she eloquently put it. I love how she is going through a painful time, yet is still able to be so positive about moving forward. It’s something I needed to remind myself, with all the silly pessimistic feelings I’ve had toward relationships recently.
There’s no use in closing myself off because I’m afraid of being hurt again – it’s very possible that I will get hurt again. But there’s also a possibility that I could NOT get hurt.
Anyways, that was my random thoughts on dating that I had this morning after reading two articles that resonated with me, though they’re both very different.
Have you ever read something that really got you thinking this week?
What do you think about the two articles I talked about up there?
Think I should continue to be a romantic, or just hunker down in negative-single-nancyville? 🙂