Thinking Out Loud: Dating

You know, whoever told me a little less than three years ago that I was going to have SO MUCH FUN dating now that I was finally single, I’d like to laugh in their face for a second.

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It’s no secret that I’ve dabbled in online dating on and off for the past few years (I’ve even written about it … twice) but I hate it so I don’t know why I keep going back. Like I actually hate it. I’ve never been excited for a first date (I’m being serious – never) with a guy I’ve met online. Part of that is because I’ve never really met anyone that’s been exciting to me. It’s just usually, “Well, maybe I’ll like him more in person” and then I don’t. Plus, it gives me anxiety like none other to go on a date with someone I’ve never met before and have no background on. There’s so many crazies out there!

Unfortunately meeting people the “normal” way hasn’t exactly worked out for me either. I’ve met a couple guys here and there through work or friends, but they’ve all fizzled out. Lately I’ve been trying to forget about the guy I’ve had a crush on for way too long and just giving up on dating all together. I know I’m being cynical and someday I’ll look back at this post and be like “I’m such an idiot! I just met the coolest guy that proves that they’re all not the same!”, but until then … I’m done now. Kthanksybe. But wouldn’t you be done with messages like these?

Twitter

What about this one?

Dating 1

Not bad enough? How about this one?

Dating 2

Or my newest favorite, the guy that’s old enough to be my dad but disgusting enough to get reported.

Dating 3

I think online dating is actually making me want to stay single. It just seems that 95% of them fit the stereotypical gross, after one thing and just plain disrespectful type guy. I know this isn’t true. In fact my last (real) boyfriend (three years ago) was a really good guy – just not for me. But dang! After only having jerks for almost three years, it definitely makes you cynical. I just seem to attract the poopheads lately. Probably because I use words like poopheads.

So, I’m just going to go back to my fun little life of trying to make cute singers fall in love with me from afar (; I definitely want to be in a relationship again someday, but I’m cool bein’ single if these are my only options. Maybe I should just get a dog. <— That’s the best idea I’ve had all day.

What’s your feedback on this? Am I being too cynical? 

Linking up with the wonderful Amanda. (:

8 comments

  1. Jordyn says:

    Oh man girl I completely understand where you are coming from! I’ve done my fair share of online dating and while I actually was excited for a few of the dates I received quote a few super creepy and disgusting messages like the ones you shared. I met a few interesting/cool guys from Tinder/okcupid and had fun going on a mad dating spree but none of them were good potential boyfriends (for me anyway). I’ve been so so cynical and rolled my eyes at my friends in love: I still am cynical in a way, and I think cynicism can be good for you. I don’t think it is wise to be the girl who thinks about love as if it were a disney story because it isn’t! I have become softer since I met Jordan but I’m still not the wide eyed little girl who believed in fairytales and soul mates. I’m so so happy with my relationship but I think part of the reason is because I gained so much experience and wisdom from bad date after bad date. I’m not trying to give you any advice per se just reminding you you’re not alone in the dating struggle. Overall guys just suck honestly!
    Jordyn recently posted…Feminine Office EssentialsMy Profile

    • Jessie says:

      Thanks for the comment, Jordyn! I always love hearing your point of view, just because I think very similarly to you when it comes to relationships and things like that. That’s really a great way to think about it. I’m so happy that you found Jordan! 🙂

    • Jessie says:

      It’s unfortunately very, very real. And that’s not even the worst email I’ve ever gotten – it was just too graphic to put up online!

  2. Amanda @ .running with spoons. says:

    That’s actually one of the reasons I’ve never wanted to try online dating — I’m afraid of becoming cynical. I mean… I know there must be normal people out there, and meeting people the normal way is becoming almost freaking impossible these days, but I hate how assholish guys can be behind the screen of a computer.
    Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…. thinking out loud #136 .My Profile

    • Jessie says:

      It really has made me quite cynical and afraid, to be honest. I’ve met some creepy guys or have had guys be super disrespectful and it’s disheartening because now I don’t trust any of them that message me. Hence why I keep getting rid of it. But I guess I’ve met some gross guys out, too. I’ll just keep hoping the day comes when a nice one shows up and there’s mutual interest. It seems to be a long-shot these days.

  3. Megan says:

    First of all… WTF is wrong with those people?! Who thinks that it is appropriate to talk to someone like that? I think it’s perfectly okay to be a little cynical when you keep getting messages like that. I’ve been completely out of the dating scene for some time now but I really think you’ll find someone when you aren’t even looking 😉

    • Jessie says:

      Right? Ugh. And I agree with you about the not looking part. Plus, I want to enjoy my summer and I don’t have time to worry about boys. 🙂

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