Okay. Here we go. It’s rant time, I apologize.
^^ This. This is something I’m okay with about 95% of the time. I’m okay with being alone. I’m okay with not being in an unhappy relationship anymore. I’m okay with not letting guys treat me like crap. I’m all good with that. I like who I am, I like (for the most part) what I’ve done with my life. I like my goals, my aspirations, my dreams. I’m more worried about when I can get a dog than when I can have babies. In fact, I don’t even think I want babies (that’s a rant for another day). I’m not afraid of living by myself. I have no issues going to movies or getting food by myself. But you know what? Being single is still hard.
It’s still a sting to your confidence when a guy you liked for months but “wasn’t ready to date” suddenly has a girlfriend. Or when your ex of millions of light-years ago is engaged to the crazy chick you always knew in the back of your mind was interested in him. Or when the guy you’re not even interested in gives up on you and moves on … How does that one make sense?
I’ve been the girl that’s told other people that “it’ll come when it’s right” or “at least you’re not in an unhappy relationship” or “you have to like yourself first”. And I believe ALL those things. But being single is still hard when you don’t want to be single anymore.
Now, take that with a grain of salt. One thing I’m really good at is dealing with hard situations (#TWSS). As much as it gets me down sometimes and I feel really lonely (which is actually more of a job/friend/location issue than guys), I’m still gettin’ along. I’m happy by myself. I’m happy with who I am. I mean, I wish I made a bit more money so I could wear prettier clothes (let’s be honest), but I know who I am and what I want. And honestly? I think that’s why I’m still single. I’ve had multiple opportunities to be UNsingle in the past three years, but I strayed away from them because 1) I wasn’t ready yet or 2) I just didn’t “feel it”. So really, it’s my own fault. But I’d rather be single than with someone I’m not 100% into.
So anyways, this little rant is just all over the place but I was having a rough morning after seeing a fun picture on the FaceSpace (seriously, I should just delete certain people). But let’s be real – there’s no use in feeling bad today because I can still do this …
So maybe I should stay single anyway. 🙂
Thanks for listening (are you really listening? reading? laughing at me?) to my little cranky funk this morning! Let me know if you’ve ever struggled with this stuff! Even you beauties that aren’t single, I’m sure you have some advice … but I swear if one more person tells me “everything happens for a reason” … >:( (just kidding)