Alert: I can’t find my motivation

Do you know where it went? My motivation? Sanity? Any of that?

In fact, do you even remember me? Hi, I’m Jessie and I used to blog all the time (I’m rolling my eyes at myself right now).

I have been the captain of my own struggle bus the past couple of weeks (or probably months, to be honest). I’ve gone through bouts of not sleeping, being depressed, loneliness, the whole nine-yards. Usually that happens to me this time of year for a few weeks, but I’m pretty good at pulling myself out of it. For some reason, I’m having a harder time this year.

You see, I’m feeling a little stuck which is a feeling I don’t do so well with. Anytime I feel like I’m stuck somewhere or something in that nature, I start to get all fidgety. I was worried this would happen moving back to Green Bay after living away and completely on my own for so long and well, I was right. I’m surrounded by a lot of negativity and that’s something I worked really hard to flush out of my life a few years ago.

Motivation

P.S. This post is going to be full of fun motivational quotes because I lovvvvvve them.

Motivation

I was watching a video by Brittany Dawn the other day (a fitness/inspirational YouTuber that I adore) and she talked about how she finally started letting people, things and places go that were bringing her down and not supporting her and that really motivated me to get going.

Or at least to think about it since my motivation seems to come to me at 10 p.m. at night and then it’s gone when I wake up. But I’m TRYING.

I went through a period a few years ago right after I broke off a four-year relationship where I had to try to “find myself” and I worked really hard at that. I feel like the last few months I’m back feeling like I’ve lost myself again – or at least I’ve lost some of my self confidence and drive for life that I’ve always had. And I want that back!

Motivation

My motivation for working out is basically out the window and it’s hard to pick back up. In the summertime before I got sick in August, I was working out every day, loving the results and loving the way I was feeling. I want that back!

Motivation

I also have been struggling with loneliness. Not in the boyfriend way, but in the friend way. I think I’ve gotten to a difficult point in my life where some friends start to disappear or I start to cut out the people that may not be good for me. I was worried when I moved back here that I’d struggle missing my friends in Milwaukee and unfortunately those friendships have pretty much all but fizzled out. There’s only so many times you can text someone without a response for days or get canceled on that you can handle. And the friends I had in Green Bay are still a little bit more into the party life than I’d like to be, so those friendships seem to have fizzled out as well. That’s just life, but it’s definitely made it even harder to be living up here in the middle of nowhere. Thank God for my sister otherwise I’d be going crazy!

Motivation

One thing that’s really been sticking in my mind is that it’s a great time to just get up and go somewhere. I’m still young and really don’t have anything holding me anywhere. I’ve had Colorado stuck in my brain for years, but it could be anywhere! Money is the only thing that makes me nervous with that, but I don’t want to look back at my life and be sad I didn’t try out something new. And be mad at myself for being a little chicken shit.

Motivation

It’s scary to want your dreams to come true sometimes. I mean, you can dream all you want, but what if those dreams come true? What if it doesn’t work out the way you’d like it to? Oh, but what if it DOES work out the way you want it? That’s almost scarier.

Motivation

So here’s me, putting myself out there on the internets again trying to push myself outside of my comfort zone. It’s a realllllllly hard place to leave, you know! But I’m going to continue to push myself out of it, inch by inch. Maybe I’ll meet some friends. Maybe I’ll get a dog (OMGPLEASE). Maybe I’ll find a job that makes me feel financially secure. Maybe I’ll find my passion. Maybe I’ll find myself. I lost her and I’d like her back. 🙂

Motivation

Thanks for listening to my ramblings today! And I’m going to try to get back into the swing of things here on my blog and YouTube channel. I miss it so very much.

How do you get yourself motivated? How have you gotten yourself out of your comfort zone? I need all the help I can get!

This entry was posted in Random.

7 comments

  1. Megan says:

    I have had two friends who just kind of picked up & moved to Denver. And they love it! They have both told me that they can’t imagine living in Nebraska again. It would be scary to just leave everything familiar but kind of like you said, you don’t want to regret NOT doing something!

    And I can totally relate to being lonely, as in not having a lot of friends. It sucks. I even signed up for MeetUp but all of their groups are kind of dumb, hah. Trying to make friends is worse than dating.. seriously. If you ever want to chat, haha, let me know!

    Sometimes just getting fed up with things is motivation for me. Of course, this doesn’t always work (like I can’t just quit my job even though I’ve been irritated with it since the day I started). But, for little things like working out, etc. It sounds like you are getting back on track though! I love all of the quotes you posted too!

    Sorry for the novel today, have a great weekend!
    Megan recently posted…blogger christmas cheer exchange reveal!My Profile

    • Jessie says:

      First off, YES, I would love to chat! 🙂 That would be so much fun. I’ve heard of the MeetUp thing, but I’ve heard the same thing as what you said … that it’s kinda weird. I totally agree on the getting fed up thing and I think that’s where I’m at right now. I’ve heard Denver is wonderful, too. There’s actually a few people I “know” who have moved somewhere in Colorado. Who knows, though!

  2. karlee says:

    Hi Jessie!

    I’ve been reading your blog for awhile now, I can’t remember how I found it BUT sad to say, I’m still one of those wanna-be bloggers that just reads a ton of blogs, gets inspired, but never follows through. So I can totally relate to that 🙂

    I also love your blog because I’m actually from Green Bay, but now live in Milwaukee for grad school, so I feel like we’re kind of living parallel lives, is that weird!?

    Also I LOVE YouTube, and don’t know anyone in my real life that obsessively watches like I do lol, my friends make fun of me all the time but it’s a guilty pleasure.

    Basically just wanted to reach out and say that I totally relate to this post, so you’re not alone 🙂

    • Jessie says:

      Haha, that is like we’re living parallel lives! How funny. Do you like Milwaukee? And YES! Everyone makes fun of me too about my YT subscriptions. I rarely even watch TV anymore. The only time it’s REALLY hard is this month when all the people I watch are doing Vlogmas so I have millions more videos to watch than normal! I have a YT channel, but I need to put some more work into it. Thank you for reaching out!! I really appreciate it. 🙂

  3. Katie says:

    I feel all of this! “She will be free” is actually on my current driving playlist. Personally I’m committing myself to 100 yoga classes in 2016. (which would be 2x per week, and I’m starting that now) I need the time on my mat to work through life issues.
    Katie recently posted…Chance Chat #51: Happy SpiritMy Profile

    • Jessie says:

      That’s a really great commitment! I’ve never tried yoga (besides a few poses when I’m stretching after a workout) but I think it might be good for me, too.

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