I have a lot of experience on this topic of singledom and after going stag to yet another wedding this past weekend, I figured it was time I named off 10 of the things I’m TOTALLY over hearing since I’ve been single. (Note: I’m not being mean and I’ve probably said all of these things myself to someone, but I’ve heard these things about 10,000 times in the past three years.)
Are you seeing anyone?
I’m seeing you, being all judgmental and asking me AGAIN if I’m seeing someone. Don’t you think I would’ve TOLD YOU THAT?!
He’ll come when you’re not looking
First, and most importantly … that’s what she said. #tyss
Okay. Seriously? I’m not sitting on the side of the street with a sign that says “WILL YOU BE MY BOYFRIEND??!!” I’m not going to the grocery store and attacking every male I see. This comment drives me nuts. YES, I get what people actually mean by it, but I haven’t been “looking” for someone, so knock it off.
Have you tried online dating?
Yes, I have. Have you seen my video about my creepy dates? Now you’ll see why I’m no longer doing online dating. (P.S. ignore the quality, I need to re-do this video)
Have you met my friend/coworker/trainer/brother’s friend’s neighbor’s dog walker?
No, I haven’t. And I no longer trust your judgement after you tried to set me up with the waiter at the last three restaurants I’ve been to with you, so you can just stop trying to help now.
So … you’ve at least been getting laid, right?
Don’t you want kids? You’re almost 30!
I want a dog. Do I have to get a boyfriend to have a dog? Didn’t think so. Also, I AM NOT ALMOST 30 SO SHUT YOUR DIRTY MOUTH. No offense to my 30s crew! 🙂
You’re so lucky to have this time to work on you.
I don’t need anymore work, thank you very much. Wait, why do you think there’s something I need to work on? What’s wrong with me now?!
Ugh, this must be so hard for you.
Girl, I’m single, not dying of an incurable disease.
Everything happens for a reason.
I mean, I believe this one for most things in life but I’m soooooooooooo sick of hearing it. Yes, I know. now.please.stop.saying.it.to.me.
I can’t believe you’re still single, you’re so awesome and beautiful and wonderful!
I tell myself this one all the time, so I don’t mind this one. #ProbablyWhyI’mSingle
Do you have any to add?