5 Things That Happen When You Get Engaged

Ben and I have been engaged for almost two months at this point and I feel like a LOT has happened. I love being engaged, but some of it can be quite stressful! Here are the 5 things that happen when you get engaged (at least according to my own experience!) The funny thing is … these could entirely ONLY be happening to me soooooo … 😂

Everyone will ask what your date is

This one isn’t a negative OR positive question, but it’s definitely the most asked. Ben and I still haven’t chosen our date (though we’re about 99% sure, just have to book the venue) and I swear that’s constantly the question we get. For good reason, though! Every single vendor asks the date (obvs), family, friends, friends planning their own weddings, colleagues, blog readers, YouTube comments, Instagram comments, etc. Basically the only one that HASN’T asked is Cora. 🙃

You’ll show EVERYONE your ring and/or EVERYONE will ask to see it

I think this is a positive, but the people around me probably don’t. 😂  I love my ring. Ben and I designed it together (I’m picky and engagement rings are A LOT of moolah so he didn’t want to pick one I wouldn’t love.) Sometimes I just want to look at it in every lighting I see. When we tell people we’re engaged, they always grab for my hand. Basically anyone I’ve seen since December 15th when we got engaged has grabbed my hand before they even acknowledge me, then they usually say “Good job, Ben!” and then “OH HI, JESSIE HOW ARE YOU?” It happens!

All you’ll talk about with your significant other is the wedding

This is actually an interesting one – not necessarily negative, but not always positive. I feel like I tell Ben about wedding stuff all the time. In fact, he even asked me to only bring him stuff once a week because it was getting overwhelming (which I’m not doing very well at, if I’m honest.) A lot of our conversations are now around our wedding and our future in general. I love that Ben and I have always had open conversation but sometimes I miss just being able to talk to him about random stuff without being like, “OH, did you look at that photographer’s proposal yet?”

With that, you will probably disagree about (a lot of) something(s)

This was definitely a negative for us, but it did happen! Ben and I lived in pretty bliss mode where we rarely fought. Yes, we had disagreements, but they were usually small or had to do with the fact that one of us (or both of us) was hungry. I remember clearly getting so hurt by Ben twice in the last two months because 1) we had very differing opinions on how important a photographer is and 2) I felt like he was so wrapped up in the money part and didn’t appreciate what I was doing trying to make everything fit into a very small budget.

This one can be a struggle, but it’s definitely helping us talk through bigger and more difficult issues that come up in a relationship. For the most part, the worst thing we’d disagree about was something so trivial, whereas a wedding really makes you think about the hard things – what you want for your future together and MONEY (<— hard one for both Ben and me.) And we just started this process! It has also made us really think about things like …

  1. How we both have issues with money and need to work on them separately and together.
  2. We need to make sure we’re showing each other appreciation in all things.
  3. Where we want to live.
  4. How many kids we want and when.
  5. How we want to work (I don’t want to be a full-time working parent away from home and he doesn’t either.)

It definitely makes you start to think about all kinds of things you may not have been thinking about just in “relationship” status!

People will say “Can’t wait to come!”

This was a negative for me… I couldn’t believe the amount of people who said, “OHMYGOSH Can’t wait to come!!” when I put up our engagement “announcement” on Facebook. Then I read Jasmine’s post (she’s also a newlywed!) and saw that it’s not just me! I had cousins that I haven’t spoken to in YEARS say, “Can’t wait to come!” or random friends try to pop back into my life. Ben and I are having a very small wedding and I have a very huge family. We will not be inviting any family besides immediate or those that have been integral in our relationship. I couldn’t believe the amount of people that just expected they’d be invited when I’m not sure I’d even recognize them on the street! If you get anything from this post, just please promise me you’ll never say that to a bride or groom to be. Thankfully I’m pretty set in my decisions, but I still don’t want to hurt any feelings and those comments give me hives. 😂


Can’t wait to take y’all on this bumpy, but amazingly fun journey for the next year+! I hope you’re enjoying it so far. Let me know in the comments a few other things you’d add to this list! 

8 comments

  1. Torry says:

    You have A LOT of time before the big day. Once you get a lot of the BIG stuff figured out there is going to be a HUGE chuck of time that we wedding will not consume your life because well you just don’t have anything to do with it and life will get back to “normal” – there were many times that I would ask my husband “mmm do you think there is something we should be doing for the wedding?”

    • Jessie says:

      That’s so good to know! I know you’re totally right. Unfortunately/Fortunately all of the “big deal” (and expensive lol!) stuff has to be done first so it’s a lot of BIG decisions in the beginning… but I’m excited for the smaller, more fun things! Plus, I think I’ll be doing a lot of DIY to keep costs down but still get the look I want which will be fun stuff and not so mind-consuming!

  2. Liz says:

    OMG #5. I had somebody message me and tell me they thought their invitation had been lost in the mail. I will NEVER EVER EVER ask if I am invited to something or mention it or anything. My feelings ALSO will not be hurt if I’m not invited because I GET IT! Jon and I had some huuuuge fights about our wedding. I almost didn’t have one and we were already actually married, haha. We had been together for way long so we talked about where we’d live, kids, and all of that jazz plenty of times, but wedding planning sucked. I told Jon to create our invitations (he did a GREAT job- like amazing) and he was so mad that I didn’t have any input and put off looking at them. We also went to Costco to look at flowers and I told him I wanted Gerbera daises (is that what they’re called? I don’t even remember) and he was like, “That’s now what I pictured.” Ugh WTF WHAT MEN PICTURE THEIR FLOWERS?! And he got onto me SO much for not planning enough and putting it off but I was in school, working a ton, and planning my travel nursing stuff! I knew I had a week off before the wedding to take care of decorations and stuff since our big stuff was booked, but it came up like, 100 times that I wasn’t doing enough for the wedding. Like dude, chill out and let me do it in my own time! It was so obnoxious. I hated the whole wedding planning process.

    • Jessie says:

      OH MY GOSH. That’s insane! It’s hard to believe people will do that! I’m absolutely loving wedding planning, but I definitely have to step back sometimes and remember that Ben doesn’t care as much. Sometimes it hurts my feelings, but really he just wants me to do my thing! There have been a few things he’s particular about and I’m like HUSH YOU’RE NO HELP! 😉

  3. Jordyn says:

    I haven’t been engaged for as long as you but I can definitely relate to these already. People at school that I’ve never hung out with are like “when is your wedding? can I come?” and it made me realize how people have these ginormous 350 person weddings…they say “yes” to everyone, haha.
    Jordyn recently posted…We’re ENGAGED! {& a few Wedding Details}My Profile

    • Jessie says:

      Oh my gosh, it’s crazy, isn’t it? I would never say that to someone. In fact, I assumed I was invited to a friend’s wedding once and when I realized I actually might not be, I felt SO bad that I made her feel bad that she couldn’t invite me. Be polite, people!

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