Thinking Out Loud: Dating

You know, whoever told me a little less than three years ago that I was going to have SO MUCH FUN dating now that I was finally single, I’d like to laugh in their face for a second.

59142431

It’s no secret that I’ve dabbled in online dating on and off for the past few years (I’ve even written about it … twice) but I hate it so I don’t know why I keep going back. Like I actually hate it. I’ve never been excited for a first date (I’m being serious – never) with a guy I’ve met online. Part of that is because I’ve never really met anyone that’s been exciting to me. It’s just usually, “Well, maybe I’ll like him more in person” and then I don’t. Plus, it gives me anxiety like none other to go on a date with someone I’ve never met before and have no background on. There’s so many crazies out there!

Unfortunately meeting people the “normal” way hasn’t exactly worked out for me either. I’ve met a couple guys here and there through work or friends, but they’ve all fizzled out. Lately I’ve been trying to forget about the guy I’ve had a crush on for way too long and just giving up on dating all together. I know I’m being cynical and someday I’ll look back at this post and be like “I’m such an idiot! I just met the coolest guy that proves that they’re all not the same!”, but until then … I’m done now. Kthanksybe. But wouldn’t you be done with messages like these?

Twitter

What about this one?

Dating 1

Not bad enough? How about this one?

Dating 2

Or my newest favorite, the guy that’s old enough to be my dad but disgusting enough to get reported.

Dating 3

I think online dating is actually making me want to stay single. It just seems that 95% of them fit the stereotypical gross, after one thing and just plain disrespectful type guy. I know this isn’t true. In fact my last (real) boyfriend (three years ago) was a really good guy – just not for me. But dang! After only having jerks for almost three years, it definitely makes you cynical. I just seem to attract the poopheads lately. Probably because I use words like poopheads.

So, I’m just going to go back to my fun little life of trying to make cute singers fall in love with me from afar (; I definitely want to be in a relationship again someday, but I’m cool bein’ single if these are my only options. Maybe I should just get a dog. <— That’s the best idea I’ve had all day.

What’s your feedback on this? Am I being too cynical? 

Linking up with the wonderful Amanda. (:

My favorite …

I have a pretty crazy day today, so when I read this post on Courtney’s blog this morning, I thought this would be a perfect, fun way to get in my blog for the day. I love surveys! Probably the only reason I miss MySpace. Also linking up with Amanda for a Thinking Out Loud!

My Favorite:

… Songs that amp me up for a workout …
Honey I’m Good pretty much amps me up for anything, but I’m also a big fan of VaVa Voom by Bassnectar when I really need to get myself pumped.

… Way to eat eggs …
I’m not a huge egg lover, mostly because I’m lazy, but I do love a good egg sandwich with an over-easy egg, turkey bacon and avocado on a muffin. YUM.

… Podcast …
I’m not really a podcast person. I will say I’ve listened to Danny Duncan’s podcast a few times and it’s pretty fun.

… Kind of date …
Date? What’s a date? Kidding. 🙂

554743_330415087032540_126894987384552_758906_334338637_n

In all seriousness, I like all the frills of the typical going to dinner or a movie sometimes, but I think my favorite are low key “let’s watch a movie on the couch together” type date. Or I’m happy getting a drink on a patio somewhere and just chatting/laughing. I am pretty easy to please, haha.

… App …
Instagram, though I’ve really been into SnapChat lately for some weird reason.

… Item in my closet …
Hmmmm, to be honest, I’m not a huge lover of my clothes lately but I’m cheap. So probably one of my new maxi dresses I got from Target last month or my (fake) leather jacket.

Look! Everything I mentioned is in the photos! That worked out.

… Gifts to give and receive …
To give: I lovvvvve giving gifts. I’m super observant (I’m not tooting my own horn, just sayin’) so you may say something you enjoy or want and I’ll remember and get it for you sometime. I love doing that. I remember my ex boyfriend talking about how much he wished he had better music for his long car ride, so I got him Sirius radio for a year. Or I’ll search around until I find something someone will love. It’s one of my favorite
To get: Obviously I like it when people do the same I do and really put some thought into what I might like. But really, I’m totally a flower girl. Yes, I know they die. But you get me flowers for a reason (or no reason at all) and you’re probably going to be my favorite person.

… Pizza topping …
I’m pretty boring when it comes to pizza. Gimme pepperoni and mushrooms and I’m golden. Then again, I’d probably just rather skip the pizza and have the breadsticks.

What about you guys? What’s your favorite type of date?

Thinking Out Loud #15

Get ready for a ramble on today’s “Thinking Out Loud”. Linking up with Amanda. 🙂

Let’s talk about dating … or the lack-thereof in my case. I was catching up on Twitter this morning and read two slightly contradictory articles/blogs regarding dating. One was very hopeful and romantic, the other was very much like “Nah, I’m done with this dating stuff.” Lately I’ve been falling into the second category.

So the first article I read was this one by Elite Daily, titled: “11 Reasons Why I’m Not Afraid of Being Single, I’m Afraid of Dating” and I was like YES. #mylife

I’m the first one to admit that I want to be in a relationship. I’ve always wanted that. I was a serial dater in high school (if you can even consider that dating) and basically had some sort of boyfriend from like 6th grade on (though my first BF was in 4th grade … we were obviously meant to be). I had a pretty nasty relationship right out of high school that trickled into my sophomore year of college before I finally cut that baggage lose. I was single for about six months (LONG time for me) before I met my longest relationship my junior year of college. He’s basically the guy I moved to Milwaukee for – we dated for four years. We broke up about 2.5 years ago now, and I’ve had lots of dates in between (hello creeper snacks) and a few guys that stuck around for a month or two. While I like to pretend that I just can’t seem to find a guy, I think a lot of it has to do with me being absolutely terrified of dating or putting myself out there. I wear all of my emotions and heart on my sleeve, so I’m pretty careful about who gets to see that part of me.

5534_1114977326361_1584795388_30279697_5611152_n

A lot of the things mentioned in the Elite Daily article are things I worry about constantly when it comes to dating. Things like “I’m not afraid of being cold; I’m afraid of being vulnerable.” or “I’m not afraid of not getting a text; I’m afraid of staring at my phone, waiting for one.” or “I’m not afraid of being alone; I’m afraid of being with someone who makes me feel alone.” Those are all things the resonate with me and that have happened to me … and make me want to take that happy little smile off my face and just pretend boys don’t exist.

How I normally deal with guys when I start to have feelings for them ...

How I normally deal with guys when I start to have feelings for them …

Funny thing, though. Right after I finished reading that, I found this blog post by Just a Trace about never losing hope. I mean, really. Let’s talk about something on the complete opposite side of things. Cat talks about how she just got out of a relationship and how much pain she’s feeling, yet she’s still able to feel hope that she’ll find someone – the right someone. While I’m unlike her in the fact that I’m not surrounded by healthy, long-lasting love and I haven’t really seen great examples close up of wonderful relationships, it’s still something that I want. And I loved reading this blog post because it made me realize that while I’m still afraid of everything mentioned in the other article, I still want to have my “head up and heart open” as she eloquently put it. I love how she is going through a painful time, yet is still able to be so positive about moving forward. It’s something I needed to remind myself, with all the silly pessimistic feelings I’ve had toward relationships recently.

There’s no use in closing myself off because I’m afraid of being hurt again – it’s very possible that I will get hurt again. But there’s also a possibility that I could NOT get hurt.

Cosby

Anyways, that was my random thoughts on dating that I had this morning after reading two articles that resonated with me, though they’re both very different.

Have you ever read something that really got you thinking this week?
What do you think about the two articles I talked about up there?
Think I should continue to be a romantic, or just hunker down in negative-single-nancyville? 🙂